You know you're from our college when:
1).you treat your friends in tadka(oh i'm so obsessed with this place!!) on your b'day.
2).you think you're never gonna bag a placement after your btech.
3).you think vivacity is the biggest service we do to mankind.
4).(for guys) you see a female only twice a day, at lunch and dinner in the mess.
5).you think rock is noise, while mr.honey is true melody.
6).you always find people in your batch slogging all year round and still (remarkably) managing poor grades.
7).you think sk is the mr.know-it-all of Comp Sci.
8).you think playing counter strike is cool; and its your only way of socializing, and your highway to fame.
9).//content deleted
10).you watch roadies and splitsvilla on your laptop..you say you find it lame, but still manage to catch every episode, and keep asking for it on LAN.
11).your wing is the only one in which ducting isn't working properly, or so you think..
12).you still use orkut while the whole world has shifted to facebook etc..
13).you watch a lot of Kyle and still call it kyleee.
14).you have to travel to wherever you wanna go by a 'college' bus..
15).you go to MI road every sunday and eat at mcdonalds and drink fruit juice at the juice stall on MI road..
16).you're aggressively competitive, shouting for roti in the mess.
17).you wait for vivacity all year..and during vivacity, you wait for the supposedly all-night-long dj all day..
18).your weekend getaway is nahargarh/noyla fort..where you take pictures and put them up on orkut..!!
19).you have a group of 10-15 friends and everyone else is an outsider..you are the hot property, everyone else is just too pathetic to hang out with you.
20).you have changed your surname to Quid(atleast on the internet) and remember the "people ask a question, what's a real rock n rolla......" dialogue by heart.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
How to patao ladkis in college
This will be a short post coz i'm really having to restrict my writing to not 'hurt' certain sensitive readers..
Its our biggest mystery, something we havn't yet figured out in the 6 years that our college has survived..
Before coming here, i too like a lot others thought that with my decent sense of humour etc i would be an absolute lady killer in college, only to realize later 1 day that i've developed homosexual tendencies(that was when me and my roomie went to sleep on different beds but woke up on the same!!..haha lol kidding, 'we're just friends!!'..haha)!!..
it is panic situation, and red alert i must declare..
if you've ever felt like me, this post is your comprehensive guide to patao-ing the ladkis!!..take my advice, and tomorrow morning will be the finest morning of your life..for you will wake up feeling a new man, not feelikg like one!!..(like i said, gay tendencies!!)
*Be a dude, not a dud!!..to quote the TV commercial by Intel, "Our superheroes are a little different from your superheroes!!"..the dudes with wet oil-drenched hair, the 'i'm a suck up' smile and the i-want-nothing-but-ladisss attitude..i mean who can resist a guy showing off his chest hair, combing his hair whenever a female approaches, manage to be called 'sir' by a bunch of ass licking juniors and feel proud about it and at the same time be the boss of a group of other 'dude' chamchas!!..that's what our dudes are like!!
*learn the lingo!!..most of us don't need to improvise much on this part but for the one's who do, look using words like fuck, balls, ass, considered common and obvious terms of expression of feeling is suicidal!!..however, words like 'tagda' and 'todu' or even khatarnaak are complately acceptable, even adorable!!
*get those clothes!!:..t-shirts are a complete no-no, not even on a sunday morning..donate all your clothes to sankalp and rush to chowra rasta and get those spacy formal shirts(pink, orange or yellow ideally), those which show more than enough of your chest hair..add to that bell-bottom pants and shoes(yes chappals is again a strict no-no) and you know you're dressed to kill!!..clothes maketh a man, we believe in this more than anywhere else!
*Be an academic pimp: if you aren't a slogging(not smart, no1's smart here) cookie scoring big in exams, being an academic pimp is a healthy alternative!!!...arrange notes for the ladies, arrange some slogging pigs to teach the ladies, and always reserve chairs for them in the LTs at lectures..just make your presence felt academically, however you do that..also, being part of a lameass project you have no clue about is a perfect launchpad..also, become an active member of the various puja and spiritual clubs we have in college, won't take names!!
*First date: one thing we don't believe is that 'a lot can happen over coffee'..no a 'lot' can happen only when there's a 'lot' of butter in the butter paneer while you eat amidst a 'lot' of people in a crowded Tadka!!..that's where we believe dates must happen!!.. Tadka offers a very romantic soothing experience, just what the to be brides and grooms can ask for..stuff enough rotis so your burps and farts can make up for any awkward silence there might be on your way back to college..also, burping just before you're about the seal the night with a kiss is extremely important..for they say the first kiss tells a woman all she needs to know about their relationship..she'll know its healthy!!!
*and most important of all:you must post negative comments on blogs like these to show your ignorance to college happenings and remain innocent!!
(i'll update depending on suggestions)
Its our biggest mystery, something we havn't yet figured out in the 6 years that our college has survived..
Before coming here, i too like a lot others thought that with my decent sense of humour etc i would be an absolute lady killer in college, only to realize later 1 day that i've developed homosexual tendencies(that was when me and my roomie went to sleep on different beds but woke up on the same!!..haha lol kidding, 'we're just friends!!'..haha)!!..
it is panic situation, and red alert i must declare..
if you've ever felt like me, this post is your comprehensive guide to patao-ing the ladkis!!..take my advice, and tomorrow morning will be the finest morning of your life..for you will wake up feeling a new man, not feelikg like one!!..(like i said, gay tendencies!!)
*Be a dude, not a dud!!..to quote the TV commercial by Intel, "Our superheroes are a little different from your superheroes!!"..the dudes with wet oil-drenched hair, the 'i'm a suck up' smile and the i-want-nothing-but-ladisss attitude..i mean who can resist a guy showing off his chest hair, combing his hair whenever a female approaches, manage to be called 'sir' by a bunch of ass licking juniors and feel proud about it and at the same time be the boss of a group of other 'dude' chamchas!!..that's what our dudes are like!!
*learn the lingo!!..most of us don't need to improvise much on this part but for the one's who do, look using words like fuck, balls, ass, considered common and obvious terms of expression of feeling is suicidal!!..however, words like 'tagda' and 'todu' or even khatarnaak are complately acceptable, even adorable!!
*get those clothes!!:..t-shirts are a complete no-no, not even on a sunday morning..donate all your clothes to sankalp and rush to chowra rasta and get those spacy formal shirts(pink, orange or yellow ideally), those which show more than enough of your chest hair..add to that bell-bottom pants and shoes(yes chappals is again a strict no-no) and you know you're dressed to kill!!..clothes maketh a man, we believe in this more than anywhere else!
*Be an academic pimp: if you aren't a slogging(not smart, no1's smart here) cookie scoring big in exams, being an academic pimp is a healthy alternative!!!...arrange notes for the ladies, arrange some slogging pigs to teach the ladies, and always reserve chairs for them in the LTs at lectures..just make your presence felt academically, however you do that..also, being part of a lameass project you have no clue about is a perfect launchpad..also, become an active member of the various puja and spiritual clubs we have in college, won't take names!!
*First date: one thing we don't believe is that 'a lot can happen over coffee'..no a 'lot' can happen only when there's a 'lot' of butter in the butter paneer while you eat amidst a 'lot' of people in a crowded Tadka!!..that's where we believe dates must happen!!.. Tadka offers a very romantic soothing experience, just what the to be brides and grooms can ask for..stuff enough rotis so your burps and farts can make up for any awkward silence there might be on your way back to college..also, burping just before you're about the seal the night with a kiss is extremely important..for they say the first kiss tells a woman all she needs to know about their relationship..she'll know its healthy!!!
*and most important of all:you must post negative comments on blogs like these to show your ignorance to college happenings and remain innocent!!
(i'll update depending on suggestions)
Thursday, June 4, 2009
A-Z:
If you're reading this, first I must apologize if your name/group features on this list, for all the sarcasm and pun and personal attacks, its all intended..however its all in good humour(something LNMIIT doesn't really seem to vouch for) guys. Hope the summer has drilled some sanity into your heads and you don't come running after me with a 'maverick' after reading.
A:is for AIEEE..and like our days in college, its only apt for this blog too to begin with it..first step towards being part of this madness requires you to have obtained a very poor rank in this exam and in your depression, filling the counselling form incorrectly(yes most people have come here thinking its mnit, haha what do people eat man, grass??!!), ending up filling our college as an option..and after you've come here, you're told its an iit level college and crap, but honestly, having an iit in our name(lnmIIT) is as close as we'll ever get to being like an iit.
B:boy's hall..its more like a refugee camp, or a prison with POWs..with 500 animals gathered in one building, every moment in an event!..shouts of 'go go go', coming back to room to savage-like drunkards, playing honey singh on full woofer blast, not bathing for weeks, that's how miserably happy we are!
C:1).CP!!..yes, central plaza is what the college intended we call it, though the name's suffered several modifications until it finally became ***** ******(you-know-what)..however, the beauty here does make up for all the not-so-pretty women and men(haha i'm being fair to the fairer sex!)we have to suffer as part of living in college..with the great wall and all the dysfunctional fountains, this is an ideal den for all the 'love-animals' to go hunting(if you know what i mean!)!!
2).Counter Strike:and faculty still wonders why so many fukkas; and why so few attending classes?!..i bet if there's a poll, these players would vote for an hour of cs over a night of you-know-what..sad case!
E:1).Erasure:noone here(trust me removing this word can have a whole new meaning!) knows or understands what they play but they're still liked..erasure is the name of the only band we have in college, and boss band baji padi hai!..they're yet to win any major(or minor for that matter) rock band event, but they are our only hope..so play on guys, next vivacity maybe, what say??!!
2).epl anyone?..not really, no1 watches!
3).electronics:a subject which either you don't understand..or you think you do but actually don't!!..of course, this subject has given birth to a few teen-prodigies in college, or so they think..and suddenly, some brainy-fucks have been discovered..shock on guys, shock on!..btw, hope the female attention is alluring!..shock on!
F:1).Fukka!!..that's getting an F grade. Of course the word gains popularity from its close resemblance to 'Fuck', only with an 'aa' added!!..yes, Fuck is also the only 'inglis gaali' we know here anyway!
2).football:a sport which no1 can play here, and so everyone is a maradona in his own right!..if i can ever be part of a football team, you know how bad it is!
J:1).Jamdoli:..that's our answer to times square!!..they say if you wait here a lifetime, you're sure to see every lnmiitian pass by atleast once, haha well said!!..this is where we get our supplies(daroo, sutta, petrol, everything!)..also, this place is home to a certain 'bhabhi', more on that later, read N..
2).Jhaadi:yes, our college is so full of 'jhaadi', traditionally meant for guys(exclusively) to liberate a certain toxic fluid!..however, in lnmiit we do things differently!..it is every boy's dream to make love to his 1st semester crush(and who remains a crush for the remaining 7 semesters too) in one of these jhaadis; releasing fluid of a different kind huh?!!!..
K:khamba:that's the amount of alcohol every budding drinker(we call them 'daruriya' here, something like that!!..) aspires to drink in a night someday..of course, a few have claimed to have achieved that feat, but no living proof!..
T:tagda/todu:if ever a word could mean a thousand things!!..uttered thouthlessly a 1000 times by an average lnmiitian, this is our 1 adjective for describing EVERYTHING!!!...from MITS(yes its the same mits, the main attraction of vivacity!!!..how sick is that guys..sad!) ki choriyaan to kazag ki goriyaan, tendulkar ka chakka to sunil kumar ka fukka, everything is 'tagda'..
p.s.:-and the word pinches even more when it comes from a girl, take a hint!
(This post will soon be updated)
A:is for AIEEE..and like our days in college, its only apt for this blog too to begin with it..first step towards being part of this madness requires you to have obtained a very poor rank in this exam and in your depression, filling the counselling form incorrectly(yes most people have come here thinking its mnit, haha what do people eat man, grass??!!), ending up filling our college as an option..and after you've come here, you're told its an iit level college and crap, but honestly, having an iit in our name(lnmIIT) is as close as we'll ever get to being like an iit.
B:boy's hall..its more like a refugee camp, or a prison with POWs..with 500 animals gathered in one building, every moment in an event!..shouts of 'go go go', coming back to room to savage-like drunkards, playing honey singh on full woofer blast, not bathing for weeks, that's how miserably happy we are!
C:1).CP!!..yes, central plaza is what the college intended we call it, though the name's suffered several modifications until it finally became ***** ******(you-know-what)..however, the beauty here does make up for all the not-so-pretty women and men(haha i'm being fair to the fairer sex!)we have to suffer as part of living in college..with the great wall and all the dysfunctional fountains, this is an ideal den for all the 'love-animals' to go hunting(if you know what i mean!)!!
2).Counter Strike:and faculty still wonders why so many fukkas; and why so few attending classes?!..i bet if there's a poll, these players would vote for an hour of cs over a night of you-know-what..sad case!
E:1).Erasure:noone here(trust me removing this word can have a whole new meaning!) knows or understands what they play but they're still liked..erasure is the name of the only band we have in college, and boss band baji padi hai!..they're yet to win any major(or minor for that matter) rock band event, but they are our only hope..so play on guys, next vivacity maybe, what say??!!
2).epl anyone?..not really, no1 watches!
3).electronics:a subject which either you don't understand..or you think you do but actually don't!!..of course, this subject has given birth to a few teen-prodigies in college, or so they think..and suddenly, some brainy-fucks have been discovered..shock on guys, shock on!..btw, hope the female attention is alluring!..shock on!
F:1).Fukka!!..that's getting an F grade. Of course the word gains popularity from its close resemblance to 'Fuck', only with an 'aa' added!!..yes, Fuck is also the only 'inglis gaali' we know here anyway!
2).football:a sport which no1 can play here, and so everyone is a maradona in his own right!..if i can ever be part of a football team, you know how bad it is!
J:1).Jamdoli:..that's our answer to times square!!..they say if you wait here a lifetime, you're sure to see every lnmiitian pass by atleast once, haha well said!!..this is where we get our supplies(daroo, sutta, petrol, everything!)..also, this place is home to a certain 'bhabhi', more on that later, read N..
2).Jhaadi:yes, our college is so full of 'jhaadi', traditionally meant for guys(exclusively) to liberate a certain toxic fluid!..however, in lnmiit we do things differently!..it is every boy's dream to make love to his 1st semester crush(and who remains a crush for the remaining 7 semesters too) in one of these jhaadis; releasing fluid of a different kind huh?!!!..
K:khamba:that's the amount of alcohol every budding drinker(we call them 'daruriya' here, something like that!!..) aspires to drink in a night someday..of course, a few have claimed to have achieved that feat, but no living proof!..
N:1).NARAK KA DWAAR:get off the 'highway to hell' and 'knock on hell's door'..'bhabhi' who's been caught in all kinds of compromising positions, thanks to her kind services, half of lnmiit is a 'daruriya' today!..of course bhabhi has been very generous and supplies daroo at extremely cheap rates, which has caused an ungrateful section to call it fake-daroo!!..but bhabhi ke paas toh gaay hain, jo susu mein doodh nikalte hai, daroo nahi..toh its not gaay ka susu bhabhi's selling, its authentic daroo!!..booze on!..btw, the next time you drink milk, remember, doodh gaay ka susu hai!!..so son't fight for milk at breakfast in the mess..chi chi..
2).Dr.Nahar Singh...Now when we say lnmiit is a very complete experience, you know we're serious!..here's a case of a mistaken identity..he'd actually applied for an ambulance driver's job when he got appointed as a doctor(or nurse, whatever he is!)..now if there is one thing lnmiit trusts less than the placement cell , it is this guy!!..credited with the power of causing several epidemics and with drugs that can cause even eradicated diseases, this is one man who's scared of his own medicines!
2).Dr.Nahar Singh...Now when we say lnmiit is a very complete experience, you know we're serious!..here's a case of a mistaken identity..he'd actually applied for an ambulance driver's job when he got appointed as a doctor(or nurse, whatever he is!)..now if there is one thing lnmiit trusts less than the placement cell , it is this guy!!..credited with the power of causing several epidemics and with drugs that can cause even eradicated diseases, this is one man who's scared of his own medicines!
O:...OAT..open air theatre..when the ducting in the auditorium-cum-baddy court-cum everything else is not working or when the college is in cost cutting mode, this is where all our low budget naach-gaana-nautanki happens!..of course the naked tree right in the centre is symbolic of our college funds, empty!!..and this is also where ladka-log and ladki-log, or ladka-ladka log hang out, ahem, ahem ahem, love's in the air!..
R: is for Royal Stag is our definition of indulgence!!..what is considered a taxi-wala drink outside, here is a fortunate man's affair!..to be a RS drinker, you must have qualified as a 'daruriya', must have done something great to deserve it, and must have recently got money from your mumma-papa..of course bhabhi sells it pretty cheap, but RS is still royalty and novelty sealed in a bottle!!..
R: is for Royal Stag is our definition of indulgence!!..what is considered a taxi-wala drink outside, here is a fortunate man's affair!..to be a RS drinker, you must have qualified as a 'daruriya', must have done something great to deserve it, and must have recently got money from your mumma-papa..of course bhabhi sells it pretty cheap, but RS is still royalty and novelty sealed in a bottle!!..
T:tagda/todu:if ever a word could mean a thousand things!!..uttered thouthlessly a 1000 times by an average lnmiitian, this is our 1 adjective for describing EVERYTHING!!!...from MITS(yes its the same mits, the main attraction of vivacity!!!..how sick is that guys..sad!) ki choriyaan to kazag ki goriyaan, tendulkar ka chakka to sunil kumar ka fukka, everything is 'tagda'..
p.s.:-and the word pinches even more when it comes from a girl, take a hint!
(This post will soon be updated)
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